What the rainbow means to me!!

I am sure some of you may be turned off by the title of my blog entry but let me reassure you it has nothing to do with the recent supreme court rulings in our country.

My husband and I married in July 2006, and we were very excited to start our family. We became pregnant in 2008 but found out around 15 weeks of pregnancy that our baby would not make it. The heart break and devastation I felt at that moment was like none other I have ever experienced in my life. I was so angry at God for taking my baby that I became bitter. God healed me of that bitterness and resentment on my Emmaus Walk in the fall of '08.

After numerous trips to the fertility doctor and failed pregnancy tests, we became pregnant in 2009. I was so excited to see those 2 blue lines but as soon as they met my eyes, fear filled my heart. Remembering what had happened with our sweet Baby Ratliff, I tried with everything in me to have faith, but I just couldn’t. I remember the drive to our very first doctor’s appointment. It was a rainy afternoon and my husband had taken off work to take me.  As we passed through a nearby town we saw the prettiest rainbow. I made some comment about it and my husband reminded me of Noah and the flood and how the rainbow was God’s promise. He then said, “Lynndessa, maybe God is telling you that what happened last time will not be the outcome of this pregnancy.”  From then on every rainbow I saw filled my heart with joy. Even if it was on a TV commercial I just knew God was winking at me. It seemed that God always showed me a rainbow when my fear was out of control. The times no one else knew I was panicked beyond words God KNEW and He provided.

We actually almost lost Morgan Grace on April 18^th, 2010. I was dilated to 3 at only 24 weeks pregnant. The doctor prepared us for the worst and proceeded with surgery early the following morning. The surgery was successful and this would begin my 75 day hospital stay, an hour and a half away from home. With each milestone the doctors would give God glory for how far we had come because no one expected me to make it past 28 weeks. 28 weeks was our breathing point, although small, she could still be born and have a great chance of making it. We made it to THIRTY FOUR WEEKS. On June 29, 2010, Morgan Grace was born weighing 5 lbs and 11 oz. The Neonatologist said we would be in the NICU AT LEAST a week. We checked out July 2^nd………!

This time in my life is a great reminder to me of God’s grace and mercy. I didn’t deserve for God to allow me to be Morgan Grace’s mom (or later to become Isabella’s mom….more about that in another blog) but that’s where His mercy steps in.  Keep your heads up ladies!!! God KEEPS His Promises!!! He is alive and well!  Be encouraged!!  Think back on times in your life that God has proven Himself to be faithful. Meditate on those times; too often we forget what He has done for us. God was faithful to me yesterday He WILL NOT be unfaithful to me today. Much Love!

Decolores