Plans

 I am often reminded of a life verse that my late husband loved – We hung it in his office.  It brought us such hope as he worked his own business.  I’m sure a lot of you are familiar with it for the same reason we were.  It’s Jeremiah 29:11:  

 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

 

Can I be honest, though?  I think when you are waiting to see plans happen that scripture is hard to find as comforting.  When you are just really unsure of what’s next in your life or what’s ahead on such a huge level, this scripture can almost be guilt inducing because you think you’re ready but God just isn’t revealing much.  So we wonder.  Are you there God?  Do You see me?  It says You do?   People in my life who seek to encourage me will quote it and with an almost resentful twist  I think – that’s easy for you to say!  Then you remember they mean well and they don't understand having never been here.   I know that I know that I know that my God has never forsaken me.  I know that I know that I know that I need to cling to this promise.  I just should be honest to say I’m impatient waiting to see what this plan is now - especially with my empty nest and new life.  It’s hard.  I’m not sharing anything I haven’t already prayed about.  I just think transparency is the best way to move forward.  So, I wanted to share something new at my house lately that is helping me. 

 

After a few puppies going through our house these last few years, I declared that I would never have a dog in my house again.  My chewed up furniture and now patched walls – not to mention my clean carpet - were proof to me I was really done.  Then, earlier this spring I unexpectedly fell in love my oldest son’s pug, Dexter.  He’s a happy-go-lucky, 3 year ball of easy-going fun.  I didn’t realize I would get so attached to his company while my son was gone to the Philippines and I was his dog sitter but I really did.  Here’s Dexter.  He makes me smile just seeing his pictures.  A face those who know him love – you can hear them talk about him with such affection - me included:

 

This summer as the quiet has increased exponentially in my empty nest and my oldest son refused to surrender Dexter (I wouldn’t if I were him either), I began to reconsider if maybe a canine companion of my own would be nice.   The thought of puppy training and the chewing was out of the question, though.  My oldest son suggested I look into a rescue dog.  He indicated a rescue dog would be fiercely loyal and I could pick an age and personality like Dexter too.

I went to Pet Smart one Sunday afternoon after church recently to see for myself what Homeward Bound had to offer.  I explained the characteristics of the companion I’d like to have. The Homeward Bound women asked me to consider Heidi – a maltese mix (I think poodle) who was there that day.  They told she’s a diamond in the rough.  She just needs real food and love.  Here is what she looked like when I first saw her:

 

Something about this dog clicked with me.  I saw the neglect.  I saw the fog in her eyes.  I saw that feeling I think I identified with from some of my own struggles in life as a widow.  It’s not that I have really had a difficult life as some widows I know.  It’s just that I honestly know first hand that there is a reason God encourages widows and orphans in the bible.  There are no words that can be shared to understand what we go through in this new life without our spouse.  It’s hard.  And my Father knows that.  So, when I saw Heidi, it’s like we had a connection.  I know that I have struggled with wondering if I’m forgotten.  I too honestly wondering if God sees me some days.  Looking at Heidi, shaved completely down because her Maltese mixed fur was so neglected they couldn’t save it, I knew she could be more.  I knew I could help her!  Yes, I wanted her.  I saw her potential.

 

When I first brought her home, she was so tired and underfed that she would literally just wake up to eat, do her business then lay back down on me.   It was interesting the only happy or excited emotion she gave us was when she saw clean water and a whole bowl of food.  You could tell she also wondered where those new sweet potato treats had been all her life too.  After several days of Eat, Rest and repeat, we began to see her walk on her own.  She was too weak to climb stairs and she’d bump into me or the furniture at times when she did.  We discovered that she couldn’t see well but she began to trust that I was going to be there to help her and that seemed to give her the confidence she needed to start to venture out into this new life I had brought her into.

 

Today, I want to show you what she looks like so far.  I love that she has adopted my butterfly pillow in the living room as her own.  For so many reasons, I identify butterflies with God’s promise of new life for all of us.  But I know in my heart as I see this dog come to life and celebrate each unexpected bark or toy interest or enjoyment that My Father in Heaven sees me even more so just like I see this mangled mess of a dog.  She has no idea the plan I have for her – But just like me and my Father, she’s going to have to trust that I see her.  And I’m there.

She doesn't realize it yet but  I have every intention to make her new life better than her old.  While my job with Heidi is much easier than my Father’s (I know I’m still such a hot mess myself), I am renewed in my faith that my Maker is up to the task.  I need only listen for His help when I’m bumping into things finding my way too in this new place. So I know I'm a mess and He knows I am a mess but He's got plans for me. Heidi reminds me of that ever day.  I hope she does for others too. 

 

It's Okay to Laugh

Some of my friends may not know this about me but it's a true statement - I am clumsy.  I almost always have bruises on my knees from running into furniture; it's not unusual for me to be wearing a band aide from an injury sustained while cooking; and I have taken a few very ungraceful falls. I want to tell you about one such fall that happened at church.

 

I had walked into the church office carrying two fairly large stacked boxes. The bottom box needed to go on a shelf and the top box on a desk. I carried them in and sat them both on the floor.  I took the top box and swung around and placed it on the desk. As I was doing that a lady I knew stuck her head in the door to say a quick hi.  That tiny distraction was all it took and I completely forgot about the second box. I took a step to follow the lady out when all of a sudden my toes slammed against the second box rooting my feet firmly in place all while the top half of my body continued to propel forward. Down I went, over the box and through the air, landing with a thump and an UGH! Unfortunately, I had picked that Sunday to wear a dress and high heels, something I rarely do. The dress went up as I went down and the box got crushed.  The floor I so ungracefully landed on was carpeted but unfortunately since the office was in the basement there was concrete underneath and no offerings were spent on padding lol.

There were people nearby and when they heard the crash, they came running. There I was on the floor and all I could do after an audible groan and a quick jerk of my dress down, was laugh!  I'm sure I looked quite a sight lying there twisted up on the floor, laughing!

After a few seconds, I realized no one else was laughing. I guess they were being polite or perhaps they were too concerned.  When I realized no one else saw the hilariousness of my situation, I no longer felt it and the funniness quickly turned to embarrassment.  You see, to me,  laughter makes the most uncomfortable situations much more bearable. Looking back, I wish one of my best friends had been there. They would have laughed with me after a quick, 'O-M-G, are you okay?'   They may have even done a quick check for blood or broken bones; then they would have lost it ... not at me mind you, but with me.

Now, don't get me wrong. No one wants to be humiliated and I am no exception. But those silly little things that happen in life that are not serious or life altering, are much better handled with a sense of humor.  There are so many challenging things in our day to day lives so I have found if I can find something to laugh about, it's a stress reliever and I believe a gift, so I'm going to thank God for the opportunity to laugh.

Laughter is so important for our physical and mental well-being.  As they say in Reader's Digest, "Laughter is the Best Medicine", and it's true.   Laughter releases endorphins, protects the heart by increasing blood flow, and boosts the immune system. Laughter also relaxes the entire body. Studies have shown that your body can stay relaxed up to 45 minutes after a hardy laugh.

Many don't picture God with a sense of humor and I'm not sure why. We were created in His image so if He does not have a sense of humor, where did we get ours?

There is nothing more cathartic than a good laugh and if I have to laugh at myself over a silly fall, I'm okay with that. There will come a day when a fall could have dire consequences to my health. Until then, if you're around the next time I do something silly, especially if I am laughing, by all means join me in a big ole belly laugh. It will make us both feel better. 

“A merry heart does good, like medicine, But a broken spirit dries the bones.”                  

 Proverbs 17:22

 

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Just for Laughs!

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Well, here I sit on July 1, 2015 at the Cincinnati Children’s Hospital; the day I have feared for months now.  My youngest granddaughter who is only 15 months old is being put to sleep for an MRI to check for something I have refused to believe she has, cerebral palsy.  I believe she is fearfully and wonderfully made. Yes, she’s a little slower than other kids her age but there’s nothing wrong. 

As I am writing this they are proceeding with the test.  My insides are very trembly but my heart is set on God, our Creator.  He is in control; He knows what is going on inside my granddaughter; and He will not be surprised at what the doctors find  . . . . Or don’t find.  As I look around the room while I’m waiting, I see many children, young babies to teens.  There is something going on with each of them, some much worse than others.  As I look around I am reminded of the verse in Mark 10:14, “Suffer the little children come unto me, and forbid them not, for such is the Kingdom of God.”  I am also reminded that in this thing called life, nothing is perfect.  There is sickness and disease everywhere and yes, some will even end in death.  But God promises that if we believe in him, we will have eternal life.  The time draws closer.  Ready or not, one day the Lord is coming, saved or lost, sick or healthy, the time is drawing near.  (Revelations 1:3)

So, it’s been about three hours since my granddaughter’s procedure began.  The nurse just called and said the test was over.  She also gave us the report we prayed for - everything is normal!  My daughter asked about the cerebral palsy.  The nurse was confused by the question and said the doctor would be contacting us soon, which he did. The doctor stated that some cerebral palsy is so mild that it does not show on tests and she will need to be re-evaluated in four months, but all looks good!

So, was there ever anything wrong with her; or did God heal her between the time her parents were first told something was wrong  and the time she was taken to an old- fashioned alter where God’s people prayed for her healing?  I guess we will never know, but this grandmother knows that no matter the diagnosis, this child was created by God and she is fearfully and wonderfully made!    

Psalm 139:14 says, “I will praise You, For (Isabella) is fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are your works, and that my soul knows very well.”    

Broccoli Cauliflower Salad

One of the favorite side dishes on the Grace Emmaus Walks (at least for the women) is the Broccoli Cauliflower Salad.  I made this for a recent cookout and thought I’d share it with you.   It’s not my recipe but we share it with everyone.  The ingredients are pictured here (note I forgot the cheddar cheese so it’s not in the picture).

 

 

To get started, I cut up half pound of bacon into small pieces and started to brown it in a pan.  While the bacon was frying, I cut up not quite all of the head of cauliflower, the broccoli shown and I diced the red onion putting them in my bowl to combine.  

 

 

Look over my oven.  I am not used to photographing as I’m cooking.  I’ll have to learn to clean up before taking the next picture next time!  Anyway, you get the idea.  Cut everything up into smaller pieces. 

Next, for the dressing - it’s really simple.  A quarter cup of sugar, a half a cup of mayonnaise and a tablespoon of vinegar. 

The trick to the dressing is that you should make it, pour it all into the mix with the bacon and stir it really well then leave the salad covered in the refrigerator for several hours allowing it to absorb the dressing. 

Now, because I forgot my cheese, when I took the salad out of the refrigerator the next day, I first poured the cheese in.  I took the easy way out because I was in a hurry to get to my cookout event and just bought the cheddar cheese shredded already.  The recipe calls for a cup of cheese but I don’t know anything that isn’t a little better with a little extra cheese so I put a little more.

But here’s the trick to the dressing - the salad is usually still a little dry.  So, I made a second round of the dressing and added it also, combining it about an hour before the event.  I have no idea why this picture seems so much lighter but, any way, here’s the final product.  I wish I had realized the picture was not so good so I could have taken another one because the bacon looks purple; but trust me, it was good.  Ha.  

Bacon Cauliflower Salad Recipe:

Salad

1 head broccoli

1 head cauliflower

1 red onion

1 cup cheddar cheese, shredded

½ lb fried bacon

Dressing (I like to double this!) 

½ cup mayo

¼ cup sugar

1 tbs vinegar

Cut broccoli and cauliflower into bite size pieces. Chop onion. Add bacon and dressing. Toss well. And put in the refrigerator for at least an hour. Prior to serving, toss again. Add more dressing if needed. Serves 10.

 

What the rainbow means to me!!

I am sure some of you may be turned off by the title of my blog entry but let me reassure you it has nothing to do with the recent supreme court rulings in our country.

My husband and I married in July 2006, and we were very excited to start our family. We became pregnant in 2008 but found out around 15 weeks of pregnancy that our baby would not make it. The heart break and devastation I felt at that moment was like none other I have ever experienced in my life. I was so angry at God for taking my baby that I became bitter. God healed me of that bitterness and resentment on my Emmaus Walk in the fall of '08.

After numerous trips to the fertility doctor and failed pregnancy tests, we became pregnant in 2009. I was so excited to see those 2 blue lines but as soon as they met my eyes, fear filled my heart. Remembering what had happened with our sweet Baby Ratliff, I tried with everything in me to have faith, but I just couldn’t. I remember the drive to our very first doctor’s appointment. It was a rainy afternoon and my husband had taken off work to take me.  As we passed through a nearby town we saw the prettiest rainbow. I made some comment about it and my husband reminded me of Noah and the flood and how the rainbow was God’s promise. He then said, “Lynndessa, maybe God is telling you that what happened last time will not be the outcome of this pregnancy.”  From then on every rainbow I saw filled my heart with joy. Even if it was on a TV commercial I just knew God was winking at me. It seemed that God always showed me a rainbow when my fear was out of control. The times no one else knew I was panicked beyond words God KNEW and He provided.

We actually almost lost Morgan Grace on April 18^th, 2010. I was dilated to 3 at only 24 weeks pregnant. The doctor prepared us for the worst and proceeded with surgery early the following morning. The surgery was successful and this would begin my 75 day hospital stay, an hour and a half away from home. With each milestone the doctors would give God glory for how far we had come because no one expected me to make it past 28 weeks. 28 weeks was our breathing point, although small, she could still be born and have a great chance of making it. We made it to THIRTY FOUR WEEKS. On June 29, 2010, Morgan Grace was born weighing 5 lbs and 11 oz. The Neonatologist said we would be in the NICU AT LEAST a week. We checked out July 2^nd………!

This time in my life is a great reminder to me of God’s grace and mercy. I didn’t deserve for God to allow me to be Morgan Grace’s mom (or later to become Isabella’s mom….more about that in another blog) but that’s where His mercy steps in.  Keep your heads up ladies!!! God KEEPS His Promises!!! He is alive and well!  Be encouraged!!  Think back on times in your life that God has proven Himself to be faithful. Meditate on those times; too often we forget what He has done for us. God was faithful to me yesterday He WILL NOT be unfaithful to me today. Much Love!

Decolores